NOT GOOD ENOUGH BUT ENOUGH

My Aunty, Ifedolapo Ogunniyi, writes some of the most beautiful poems. I read this piece, and the depth, vulnerability and honesty really resonated with me. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did

NOT GOOD ENOUGH BUT ENOUGH

You said I am not good enough
Just because I went through
A road so rough
This first pregnancy gave me a time so tough

I tried you know
The first trimester came so coldly like a snow
I put up a show
You said I lost my glow

For goodness sake there will be a change
The spitting, the nausea, all so strange
I ate like an elephant, my tummy lost its gauge
You became disgusted, from loving to estranged

I lived with all your control
The look on your face was always like a troll
I started taking evening stroll
Just to put this situation under control

Then I started having a double colour
My gene became creative like a tailor
It decided to give my face a crazy discolour
I can not just take this anymore, I need a counselor

I remember towards the end of my second trimester
I brought in Sylvester
I needed all the help, you gave me only disaster
I knew you were not in agreement because of your smile so sinister 

I pleaded for you to pray for our first baby
You cared less, I suddenly became a cry-cry baby
I bought books about lullaby
You preferred chatting along the lobby

Fine, you preferred a slim lady
I got married as a slim pretty lady
We had sex, pregnancy happened, I became chubby
I though you will remember our marital vows, but all I got was your side so grumpy.

You said I was not good enough
You said I added too much sugar in the dough
You grumbled about to much salt that gave you cough
You ignore me even when I try to laugh

Our baby arrives in one day
You are not excited about it in any way
You are not aware and I do not plan to say
I watched as you packed for a business trip and drove through the highway

I hope to get back in shape after the birth of my jewel
I hope food will unfriend my bowel
I hope one day you will realise your misdeeds in capital vowels
I hope one day, I will be good enough for you, Joel

For 273.93188 days, you deprived me of sex
For 6,574.365 hours, you caused me nothing but pain
For 394,461.9 minutes, you treated me like a piece of shit.
But for ever, I will still choose you,

I will make this work, I promise
Even though you feel because I became pregnant
I will never be good enough for you
But deep down inside me, I will forever be enough!!!

β™‘$po

28072020
2pm
Photo credit:Β  alamy stock photo

Special thanks to Aunty D for allowing me share this ❀❀

8 thoughts on “NOT GOOD ENOUGH BUT ENOUGH

  1. Need not say less that the author is a Cicero. I salute and celebrate her doggedness, fate and focus. Ride on my babyπŸ˜πŸ‘Š

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